Often, when we make decisions unconsciously, they either come from a place of fear or faith. It is necessary, sometimes, to step back from your responsibilities and evaluate why you are doing what you are doing.
If you are a female in business, you probably have many roles to play along with being a career woman. No matter how much time you have or how many roles you balance, you are always making decisions that will move you forward or keep you where you are. Unless you change the inner blue print of what is coming to you, you cannot balance your outer responsibilities and make decisions from a calm place from within.
During my earlier years, as a career woman, I spent more time running away from things than going towards them. Having a huge fear of not being taken cared of, I became so career focused that there wasn’t even time to question what was driving me back then. Now I can see the drive was coming from fear and not faith.
My unmet needs- consisting of the belief that if I am not strong, no one will take care of me- made me become “strong” at the expense of my soft, feminine side. If carried out with a healthy balance, taking care of yourself and being independent and self-sufficient, is wonderful. Coming from trying to fill an unmet need, however, it can make one appear strong on the surface, while pushing away an inner strength that is also necessary to attain a more complete “authentic strength”. Being authentically strong involves balancing one’s need for independence while also being “strong” enough to ask others for help. You don’t have to do everything yourself in order to be strong, authentically strong, that is.
Now I attract women in my business who take time to step back and ask themselves, “What is my definition of strength?” They see the importance of evaluating when it was that they decided they needed to be “strong”, and whether or not they still feel the need to be “strong” in that same sense anymore. They are ready to own their soft side and combine it with the strong one, recognizing the importance of both. In addition, they courageously create a community they can go to for help as they no longer hesitate to ask for assistance. These women are mastering the lesson of inter dependence along with independence. They have let their guards down and are ready to be vulnerable with their coach so that they can experience the gift of warmth and safety that comes with being vulnerable. Their lives are never the same once they receive that gift, because after receiving it and recognizing its value, they cannot help but create it everywhere they go. They remember and use this gift long after our coaching relationship is over.
I would encourage you to own all sides of yourself so that you can make wise business and life decisions. Make the ones that are faith-oriented instead of fear driven, and honor your authentic strength.